bringing back the joy of spilling every aching thought on the internet.

— CALL ME BIG FISH 🍣

I visited Baltimore last weekend.

Highlight of the trip was seeing my twin, eating delicious guacamole and the best drink I’ve had in my life (check brain dump).

I also had a big realization. 

I don’t like being the big fish in a little pond. I like being a big fish in a big pond and I want to be around other big fish.

That’s why I felt so trapped in Toledo, Pittsburgh, and Baltimore. Not saying big fish don’t live in these places, but that none of these cities made me feel like I could become my biggest fish self. Also why I was always looking for more.

Does that make sense?

My first day of class is coming up soo soon and I’m very excited! Getting ready feels like I’m stretching before a big race as I get my calendar organized, drill down on my routine, and get specific on my goals, one of which is to earn a special award upon graduating.

Ya’ll know how I told ya’ll to make a plan for the next two years of your life on the last newsletter? Well I did that and between school, mommyhood, content creation, and my pursuit of being a mogul.. Ya girl is about to be BUSY!

In messier news,

N*gga, we made it!

I got my first hate comment from stating my OPINION on how I don’t believe in Kenny. I tried to tell her to simply, “smd,” and Tik Tok told me my comment ~violated community guidelines~ and removed it 🙄

For my comment to be able to activate someone who doesn’t even know me to react? That’s powerful!

I’m basically famous now. 😎

The story time corner. As I reflect on what makes my lore my own, I hope you can see a piece of yourself too.

— ALL BAD BITCHES GO TO THE WARD🤭

Did I ever tell ya’ll about how I went to the Psych ward?

I casually mentioned it while with Jordan and they were like 😳, but I genuinely thought everyone knew that??

To make a long story short, I was admitted because I wanted to unalive myself over a n-word who is a Pisces sun. From 13-17 he had me feeling very much like Olivia Rodrigo’s Sour album. That should tell you all you need to know.

No shade, no tea.

The event that proceeded the ward is after confessing my undying love to him, he told me he needed time to decide between me and another girl. When he came back and told me he picked the other girl… I was NOT well. It was the straw that broke my back.

This all happened when I was like 16 and outside the trauma of all that, I’m not gonna yieeee, the ward felt like I was at a retreat. To be free of chores and my nagging ass mama while having a structured schedule and hearing Norah Jones play while I painted my feelings out, made me feel like I was at an Amangiri.

Ya girl loves all things hippy and woo woo so I'll be sharing random tidbits on current transits, resources, and tips to help you start connecting the dots in your life through info on the metaphysical.

— NEXT CALLLLLER☎️

I watched a video about manifesting vs. calling in and I must say, I’ve been converted.

In the video she says that when you say you’re “manifesting,” or you’ve “manifested,” something is to say that that thing didn’t exist before it appeared in your life.

To call something in is to acknowledge that everything you desire already exists and is already yours.

All you need to do to experience it is CALL IT IN.

Note: when calling something in, please give it time. When you call someone and they don’t answer you wouldn’t then think they just aren’t on the other side. You’d assume either you need to call again later or that they’ll call you back. Assume the same for God/the universe.

Yet another section to share what I’m into in hopes you might find something interesting too. A foray into the mind of someone with so many thoughts and not so many places to put them.

ON REPEAT:

DRINK REC

Baja Spritz from Clavel

• I don’t have the exact recipe, but I know it had lemon, celery, vermouth, sparkling water, strawberry and something else. I know the celery sounds nasty, but I promise you it was like a refreshing, adult fruit punch. We added Pacifico beer to it at the very end and it was just as good. When I find the exact recipe I’ll update ya’ll.

BOOK REC

I’m trying to upgrade the quality of my content and share more of my story, (which still makes me nervous even on day 61 of the challenge), while also being as true to myself as I can be.

I’ve been reading this book to help

Very easy read. I recommend for anyone interested in the intricacies of storytelling and by some extension, public speaking.

I love to yap about shit that's most definitely not my business. I'll be sharing my two cents - and then some, so please feel free to reply to this email and share yours too.

— A quick 3 thoughts:

• CARESHA.. I know a lot of people feel like she didn’t say anything forreal in the interview, but I disagree. I think she showed that she will always have a love for Diddy for the position he put her in and that her and JT were already drifting apart, so she felt she had to jump ship to save her and her family. Both things I understand but don’t agree with. I wish she would’ve called Diddy all the disgusting names she knows for how he did Cassie especially because she’s been put in that position before, but she probably feels like she owes him loyalty and can’t say that publicly. That tweet to his other gf is still incriminating and I’m interested to see how that plays out. Ultimately, her and JT seem like frenemies with poor communication. I still have hope for them in the future.
  

  

  bc wym? how you know that?

• LATTO.. I like Sugar Honey Iced Tea!! If I could re-do the track list I’d take out the one with Mariah the Scientist, There She Go, Settle Down and Squeeze. Chicken Grease would be put on the regular track list and she’d revise S/O to me.

• MY BEEF WITH KENNY.. I just do not trust him nor think he’s the best choice for JaNa. From MY perspective, it seems he’d be the type to want JaNa to be more demure in the not so good way - as if he wants to tame her. JaNa might be into that but I like her so much it makes me sad to witness her clearly like him more. I’m still sooo excited to watch the reunion tomorrow and give my thoughts.

My parting lesson, question, or word of advice—it'll vary each time, but it'll always be something to help you tap into your best self - starting today.

— Ask yourself: 

How mindful are you of the words you speak over your life? Are you affirming how beautiful and amazing you are or are you harping on your small mistakes and human flaws?